guys
This goes back to this past Saturday, but I wanted to post on it. A friend of mine tells me that he just broke up with his girlfriend of several months after spending a lot of time with another girl on a trip. Now, granted, this guy is still in high school, but what is the deal? His “reason” was that he thought he and his girlfriend were too serious and he wanted to see what would happen with other people. I just don’t understand it. Maybe I’m just really naive but if you’ve made the investment to get to know someone instead of breaking up with them, why not just say “Hey! Let’s cool it some – we’re only in high school.” Oh well, I don’t really have the personal experience to offer advice, I guess it just irritated me.
February 24, 2003 | Filed Under Journal
First of all, the guy is in high school. He only thinks rationally with his penis. Anything else that resembles rational thought is purely accidental.\n\nBesides, it isn’t unusual for guys to want to be with other women, especially at that age. Again, I point out the fact that he is in high school.\n\nAnd yes, you are being naive. There is no such thing as saying, “Hey, let’s cool it some – we’re only in high school” in high school. Don’t you remember the serious social ramifications that wearing even the wrong shoelaces could have?\n\nSo before you get any more irritated, remember this. They’re in high school. High School!! Any time Molly Ringwald get’s to make half a dozen movies about something, like, say, high school, for instance, you have to take it for fact, because we ALL know that Sixteen Candles and Breakfast Club are templates that we should base our lives around.
i’m going to let this one go. anything else i would say would only give you all more stuff to work with and only be further embarrassment.
No, please, let us know how you feel.
First, I don’t think there is any movie I’m gonna base my life around. Things like that just do not happen. Sure, they make for interesting stories but, it’s fake. Second, I didn’t have a social life in high school until my senior year and by then it was pretty much too late. So all I have to base anything on is what I’ve observed since then and what I know, or at least think, to be the right thing to do. I can do nothing but rationalize situations and the decision to break-up just doesn’t seem rational to me. That’s all.
“First of all, the guy is in high school. He only thinks rationally with his penis.” Sounds like a programmer that I know …
I’m not sure he’s actually a programmer. I think he’s paid to talk trash and hit on women.\n\nAnd to think, we could have had an office linebacker instead.
He gets paid to be here? I thought they just gave him free use of the Internet.
not only is he paid to be here, but he’s full time now!!!
And we could have had an office linebacker.
I agree with KFisto point of view about this.
I like to base my life around the movie Spaceballs. You say you don’t understand why the guy would break up with the girl after investing “so much time” with her and that he should just cool it off with her for a while. But ponder this, if he doesn’t really want to further the relationship then dragging it on will only make it worse. I was in a similar situation in college where I dated the same girl for about 3 years. Looking back on it, I should have broken it off somewhere around the middle of the relationship. This was not because I wanted to hook up with other chicks, it was because deep down I knew it really wasn’t going to work. But because we both had the need to have a significant other, we kept the attocity of a relationship going. Looking back on it, I say anyone in a relationship should go with their gut instinct and not base a relationship on the need to have a warm body laying next to them at night. Staying in a long, boring, sad, and frustrating relationship will drive a person to….I don’t know…..drink extremely heavily. Word to your mother…
If that was the case I would completely agree with you. There’s no reason to stay in a bad non-married relationship. But I don’t think that’s the case in this instance. I talk to the guy every so often and every time I asked how it was going he said it was going great. I think talking with the other girl, and her flirting just was too much of a temptation. Who knows…
If it was “too much of a temptation”, then his relationship could not have been all that great … at least not great enough to satisfy some particular part of his life (whatever that might be).
Might disprove my point at the same time I’m proving it… \n\nIt could be that his relationship with girl A was good, great even. But when girl B started flirting and said she was interested he got curious. Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship, or even those that haven’t, can probably attest to something like this happening. I think the moral question here is, do you ignore that interest, or do you break up with someone who you really have no good reason to break up with? I say you should ignore it since you’re already in a relationship. What happens if you change things up a little bit and you make the relationship with girl A a marriage relationship? It would be wrong to pursue a relationship with girl B right? Of course. To me, there is no distinction between the different relationship types.
“There’s no reason to stay in a bad non-married relationship.”\n\nBut you should definitely stay in a bad married relationship. Riiiight.
Yes, not indefinitely though. But there should be steps taken to try to resolve the problems that are happening. There are far too many divorces, not only because of people just deciding to get one instead of working through the problems, but also because people get married way before they really ought to.
My whole point is that if he was truly happy in this “great” relationship, then he would not have thought about the other person.
Being truly happy makes you immune to temptation then? I don’t think so. But I do think if you are truly happy you are much leass likely (but not completly immune) to follow through and fall into temptation’s lap.
I think that being truly happy (in a relationship) causes one to not think about doing things that would cause problems within that relationship.
Agreed… I don’t think when he left on the trip, he planned on breaking up with his girlfriend when he got back. I guess maybe it all comes down to not necessarily being in high school, but just not having the experience in making these decisions.
This topic brings much comments, but I think we all agree about the fact that it’s not -that- important for both of them…\n\n… since they don’t have children. They’re young and still have their life ahead of them; breaking up in High School almost brings you in “normal stats”, whatever it has something to do with sex or not. It may looks irritating, like it is to you, but it’s like “mandatory sillines”…. ;)\n\nI think it’s never too late for them. If they have to live together, they will. Later though.
Man, too bad I wasn’t here to post on this when everyone was… Okay, this is the side of me that most of you never see. And that’s my serious side.\n\nAs schtoom has pointed out, this guy is in High School, that alone should be enough said. However, to further elaborate on this subject I’ll comment on this. When your in a relationship, there are many reasons why you are curious about the other person who show’s interest – we are curious by nature.\n\nAnother reason, as you have eluded to – non-married relationship.\n\nWhy do we date (aside from the every present and yes even in you Redhat, desire to fornicate with a woman)? We date in hopes to find that one person who will see ourselves growing old with. The one person who you can see your unborn children in her/his eyes.\n\nIf by having girl B flirting with you and you become interested yourself, or “curious” then you haven’t made that commitment to the person your currently with. What does this tell you? That she’s not the one, or at least at this point in time in your life.\n\nThe one thing that I see a lot is people being happy with who they are with. And getting married, and shortly after maybe a year or two later they get a divorce because they found out that they truly aren’t compatible. \n\nThen why did they get married you say? Cause they were happy in the relationship or was it really, “comfortable”? I personally know a girl right now who claimed to be happy with her relationship, but her actions say otherwise. She got married, and later confessed to me that she got married cause she felt conformable in her relationship. Right now, she’s not happy. She’s not in a bad marriage by any means, but she’s just not happy.\n\nBack in High School, we had the right idea though we had the wrong intentions. All we wanted was sex, sex, sex, and when all said and done, we still wanted even more sex. But the idea of dating, was the correct one. We date to get to know people (and no I don’t mean in the sexual sense). If someone else catches our interest, then by all means,… She could turn out to be your perfect match. \n\nBut yes, there are risk to this… While you were able to ascertain that Person A was indeed your perfect match and all thanks to see what’s on the other side (i.e. Seeing that you aren’t really happy with someone else); you do run the risk that you will loose Person A. \n\nLastly, I would like to point out, that your looking at it in a negative way – he broke up with her. That in itself should warrant respect. Not many guys, would break up with their girlfriend after spending a lot of time with another girl. A lot of guys would see this as, “Hmmm, I got to spend time with her AND still have my girlfriend.”\n\nLearn to look at things in a positive manner. Don’t get stuck in a situation where you think you should stay with a girl only cause your happy. Don’t convince yourself that either. If your having 2nd thoughts, they are there for a reason. \n\nWhen you are good and reason to spend the rest of your life with a girl… You’ll know it.
When you are good and reason to spend the rest of your life with a girl… You’ll know it. really should read…\nWhen you are good and ready to spend the rest of your life with a girl… You’ll know it.\n\nAmong other typos and miss spellings but you get the idea…
Remind me to send Noxlupus back to 2nd grade. The use of commas, combined with grammar awareness, can take one far in life.\n\nAnd even farther on Blogs.
/rude Schtoom
/target noxlupus\n/bitchslap %t\nYou have slain a loser!\nYou have gained party experience.\n/pissoncorpse %t\n